GET ORGASM MORE AND MORE

FEMALE ORGASM

 

• Turn Her on With Your Talent

  The best sex starts long before the clothes come off. Talent—more than rugged good looks or a chiseled midsection—is a powerful aphrodisiac, according to research by my colleagues at The Kinsey Institute. (Less surprisingly, poor hygiene and a messy home are among women's biggest turnoffs.)
  
  So nail "Paradise City" during karaoke. Or make her die laughing at your self-deprecating display of atrocious dartsmanship. Yes, humor is a talent, too.

• When She's Naked, Speak Up

  Women who worry about the way they look down there are less likely to orgasm easily during oral sex, according to my research. And a recent study published in the Journal of Sex Research suggests that women who feel embarrassed or ashamed about their bodies have less sexual experience and are less sexually assertive.
  
  Clearly, you have everything to gain with flattery. If you love the way she looks naked—and you do, right?—share the news.

• Always Be Tender Up Top

  During foreplay, gently brush the tops, bottoms, and sides of her breasts; these areas are actually more sensitive than an unaroused areola and nipple. Gradually move in toward her nipples, paying attention to how she responds. As things heat up, the nipples will become flushed with blood, and the sensory receptors will become primed for direct stimulation. You'll kickstart the bloodflow and lubrication down below, starting her slow buildup.

• Learn Her Key Strokes

  One thing many women love during manual stimulation: a slow buildup. Here's how to do it: Lie next to her, lightly bracing the heel of one hand just above her clitoris. Now run your ring and middle fingers along the length of her outer lips. Graze the skin at first, adding pressure as the tension builds. Cup the area around her clitoris with your palm to add indirect stimulation—most women are too sensitive to receive direct contact early on. As she becomes aroused, brace your hand on her mons—her pubic mound, the fleshy area that covers her pubic bone—and tease the clitoris with the middles and tips of your fingers as you move your entire hand. (Feeling adventurous?

• Change Your Angle

  Play Ponce de León and explore various types of penetration to figure out what turns her on most. Your first stop: her G-spot, located about 1 to 2 inches up the front wall of her vagina. This spongy region swells during arousal. Try massaging the area slowly with your fingers. A lot of women find it mind blowing. Not her thing? Just move on.

• Use Moves that Multitask

  To maximize her pleasure, increase the amount of contact you'll have with her most sensitive parts. Here's one move that will drive her wild: Ask her to lie on her back, with her legs stretched out. Now climb on top. Curl your arms around her shoulders, supporting yourself with your elbows and moving your chest up by her chin. The goal is to bring the base of your penis in contact with her clitoris. Thrust slowly, focusing on up-and-down movement instead of in-and-out penetration.
  
  Another great trick: Move your pubic mound in a circle or up and down against her clitoris. You'll get a break from high-intensity stimulation, and she'll receive focused attention where it often matters most.

• Learn to Sense Her Orgasm

  Ease into oral sex—don't just attack. First kiss her inner thighs and her inner and outer lips, then work your way inside using firm, broad strokes with your tongue. Watch her hips for a clue to the rhythm she likes. Listen to her gasps and moans as you experiment with different techniques.
  
  And watch for signs she's close to climaxing, such as a subtle deepening in the color of her labia caused by increased bloodflow. Or rest a hand on her stomach and feel for the muscular contractions that immediately precede her orgasm.

• Follow Her Lead

  Once you reach your point of no return, you'll climax even if you're interrupted by a tuba-playing, thong-clad Bea Arthur. But your lady could hit the "off" switch if you stop or change moves midway to orgasm. We love it when you try new things, and it's important to vary your technique, but once you've found a winner, stick with it until she crosses the finish line.

• Let Her Finish First

  Stalking the elusive tandem orgasm is an admirable goal, but many women—especially those with sensitive clitorises—respond better to a "ladies-first" strategy. If you rub the clitoris for a long time—during thrusting, for example—it can become too sore or desensitized to respond to manual or oral stimulation later. So satisfy her before intercourse.
  
  Bonus: A woman's orgasm threshold drops after her first one, so it's often easier to bring her to climax through penetration after she's already had one. How does that sound for an encore? (Still wondering why she's not getting off?
  
  MAKING LOVE POSITITONS
  Listen up, gentlemen. It’s time to start pleasing  your ladies. A recent study from Indiana University found that 85% of men said that their partner had an orgasm when they had sex—while only 64% of women said that they themselves had one. Oof. Bottom line: while you think you might be pleasing her, more often than not, you’re missing the mark . “Women know that most guys want them to reach O-land, and they don't want to disappoint,” says Dorian Solot, a sex educator . “So all too often, women fake orgasms, or just let their partner assume they had one.” If you want to guarantee the real deal, stick to these nine positions that will work every time.
   
  

  
  1. Missionary
  According to sex experts, women get the most pleasure out of basic missionary sex. “Interestingly, when we surveyed women, good old-fashioned missionary position was the overall favorite. There's nothing fancy about it, but women said they loved the closeness and the intimacy of having their partner's weight on them,” says Solot. But in order for position to be most effective, Los Angeles-based sex expert and radio host Lora Somoza  says to make sure you’re entering her at the correct angle. “By going in diagonally—rather than straight in and out—there’s more friction for clitorial stimulation, which is best, since that’s how most women achieve orgasm.”
  2. Reverse Cowgirl
  In this position, the man is either lying down or in a sitting position, and the female straddles him backwards — facing his feet instead of his face. It’s a key position that also allows easy access to the clitoris, says sexologist and sexuality educator Megan Andelloux . “Because of the easier clitoral access, this position is the one that is most likely to facilitate an orgasm because direct clitoral stimulation is easy to engage in.”
  3. Doggie Style
  Doggie style is a great position for the woman because it allows her to have optimal control. “She is able to adjust her range of motion for an angle that feels best,” says Amy Levine, a sex coach and founder of Ignite Your Pleasure . “He can likely stimulate her G-spot and have access to her clitoris with his hand, her hand or a toy, like a small bullet-shaped vibrator.” Sexologist Gloria Brame  , Ph.D. also stresses the importance of clitoral stimulation while in the doggie style position. “She will rarely have an orgasm if you’re not doing something manually in front at the same time,” she says.
  
  
  

  4. Girl on Top
  Another position that allows her to have the most control of her orgasm is when she’s the one on top, facing forward. But Somoza explains that it still needs to be a joint effort. “You can help her by moving her hips up and down. It’s a communication thing,” she says. Levine adds that when the woman is on top, “she’s in control of the depth and motion, as well as having easy access to her clitoris for pleasure.”

  5. Spooning
  If your lady doesn’t prefer deep penetration, Andelloux suggests spooning. It’s also good “if you’re into lazy morning Sunday sex playtime. It concentrates on stimulation of the front portion of the vagina or rectum, which is where the most nerves are located in the genitals.” Andelloux explains that spooning is pleasurable because it creates a tighter fit in the vagina and rectum, so if a woman is looking for more stimulation from her partner’s fingers or penis... spoon away.
  6. Crisscross
  According to Marshall Miller, a sex educator, this is another great position for clitoral stimulation. “Both partners are lying down. The woman is on her back and the guy is on his side. She has her legs draped over his middle like a giant X,” he says. “Since your bodies aren't squished against each other, either you or she can reach down to rub her clitoris, what most women need to reach the Big O.”
  

  7. The Pillow Technique
  Many sex experts agree that positions often become more pleasurable for a woman when a pillow or blanket is added to create a new angle of entry. In missionary, Levine says to “put a pillow under her tush to give a pelvic lift. That can also help the man rub her g-spot with his penis.” Dr. Brame says it’s a tip that is often underutilized, and that you can even use furniture or yoga props. “Certain angles for some women won’t be comfortable,” he says. “Ask her what is working for her.”
  8. Coital Alignment Technique
  This position, created by psychotherapist Edward Eichel, is considered by many to be the “greatest sex position in the world.” Start in a normal missionary position with your full body weight on top of the woman, not resting on your elbows. Move forward so that the base of your penis (your pubic bone) is making direct contact with her clitoris. Her legs should be around your thighs and you should be moving together in a rhythmic, rocking motion. “Some swear that this position allows for the closest physical connection and the best clitoral stimulation based on his positioning,” says Levine.
  9. Ankles Up
  “When you’re on top of somebody or flat, you can’t always achieve full penetration,” says Dr. Brame—which is why adjusting her leg positioning allows for deeper contact. “You have to put her ankles up over your shoulders. It allows you to go as deep inside of her as possible and hit her G-spot.” The same deepness can also be achieved by her bending her knees or placing the soles of her feet on your chest.