#1: She Knows the Definition of “Multiple Orgasm”
Having a multiple orgasm is not some unattainable sexual holy grail. Women have multiples more often than you think. A multiple orgasm is simply “having more than one orgasm within the same lovemaking event.” You might have a very specific idea of what a multi-oh should look like but, according to Lou Paget, author of The Great Lover Playbook, there are actually three different kinds that women can have -- “Compound Singles” are when there are substantial non-arousal breaks between orgasm; “Sequential Multiples” are orgasms that occur two to three minutes apart with cool-downs in between; and, “Serial Multiples” are mere seconds apart. By recognizing the different types of multiple orgasms, a woman may realize she’s been having them and didn’t even know it!
Also keep in mind how unique each woman is to men. “It’s so much easier for women than men to have a multiple orgasm,” says Lou Paget, sex educator and author of The Big O - Orgasm: How to Ham Them, Give Them, and Keep Them Coming. “Women don’t go through the refractory phase the way men do -- with blood flow releasing after ejaculation -- so a multiple orgasm could be seconds after the first.” When a woman has one orgasm, she doesn’t need to wait for seconds. She can just go again and again!
Also keep in mind how unique each woman is to men. “It’s so much easier for women than men to have a multiple orgasm,” says Lou Paget, sex educator and author of The Big O - Orgasm: How to Ham Them, Give Them, and Keep Them Coming. “Women don’t go through the refractory phase the way men do -- with blood flow releasing after ejaculation -- so a multiple orgasm could be seconds after the first.” When a woman has one orgasm, she doesn’t need to wait for seconds. She can just go again and again!
#2: She Knows She’s a Sex Kitten
According the reseacrhers at the Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health, adult women who have high self-esteem, autonomy and empathy are more likely to experience sexual pleasure and regular orgasms. If a woman is uptight during a sexual experience or feels guilt or shame, the chance of her reaching one orgasm -- let alone multiples -- is pretty much zero.
Women who feel good about themselves, however, and who embrace their sexuality in a healthy way are in a better position to experience heightened sexual pleasure (over and over and over). In other words, learn to love yourself (including your sexual self) and your body will show you just how much you rock…multiplied.
Women who feel good about themselves, however, and who embrace their sexuality in a healthy way are in a better position to experience heightened sexual pleasure (over and over and over). In other words, learn to love yourself (including your sexual self) and your body will show you just how much you rock…multiplied.
#3: She Knows How to Do it Herself
It’s usually helpful for a woman to fly solo when she’s first exploring the concept of multiple orgasms. This is because there is no pressure to perform (i.e. no thinking “I have to come or he’ll be disappointed!”). That means you can keep trying until you get it just right.
If hypersensitivity becomes an issue, a good way to work around it is to skip direct contact with the clitoral shaft the second time and stroke more to the side with a wider, sweeping motion. Be sure to “play” with different areas.
“What often happens when women are self-pleasuring is that they will discover other areas that are sensitive that they didn’t expect. Until they stimulate different nerves, they don’t know how they’re going to react,” says Paget.
If hypersensitivity becomes an issue, a good way to work around it is to skip direct contact with the clitoral shaft the second time and stroke more to the side with a wider, sweeping motion. Be sure to “play” with different areas.
“What often happens when women are self-pleasuring is that they will discover other areas that are sensitive that they didn’t expect. Until they stimulate different nerves, they don’t know how they’re going to react,” says Paget.
#4: She Knows All the Hot Spots
Chances are you’ve heard of the G-Spot (that sometimes elusive pleasure point about an inch or two inside a woman on the navel side), but that isn’t the only hot button you can push.
“The G-Spot is not the only way to become multiple orgasmic -- there is a little confusion on that,” says Paget. “Women are capable of having orgasms initiated from 10 different types of stimulation -- outer-body targets include nipple, clitoris, g-spot, anus and vagina.” And, we have the capacity to produce pleasure from any of these.
When exploring these different nerve systems, what often happens is a blended form of orgasm, which “results from more than one area being stimulated at the same time creating orgasmic response,” says Paget. Just think about all the different combinations you can try. Oh, the possibilities!
“The G-Spot is not the only way to become multiple orgasmic -- there is a little confusion on that,” says Paget. “Women are capable of having orgasms initiated from 10 different types of stimulation -- outer-body targets include nipple, clitoris, g-spot, anus and vagina.” And, we have the capacity to produce pleasure from any of these.
When exploring these different nerve systems, what often happens is a blended form of orgasm, which “results from more than one area being stimulated at the same time creating orgasmic response,” says Paget. Just think about all the different combinations you can try. Oh, the possibilities!
#5: She Knows Timing Matters
“Women are better able to discover multiple orgasm when there are fewer distractions -- like during a weekend or vacation, when they are able to try something more, something new or to shut the world off,” says Paget.
Timing also refers to the actual rhythm established during sex. “Women respond to rhythm because it relaxes them -- getting them out of their heads and into their bodies, which actually allows for deeper arousal,” says Billy Sunday Mars, author of Fit for Love . “Otherwise the worry center of her brain kicks in and even one orgasm becomes difficult.”
When establishing rhythm with a partner, Mars suggests that slower, more controlled and consistent pelvic rocking combined with a comfortable pressure applied to her pleasure points will not only allow a woman to reach orgasm sooner, but also expand and extend the actual orgasm. “Remember micro-movements can produce macro-results,” says Mars.
Timing also refers to the actual rhythm established during sex. “Women respond to rhythm because it relaxes them -- getting them out of their heads and into their bodies, which actually allows for deeper arousal,” says Billy Sunday Mars, author of Fit for Love . “Otherwise the worry center of her brain kicks in and even one orgasm becomes difficult.”
When establishing rhythm with a partner, Mars suggests that slower, more controlled and consistent pelvic rocking combined with a comfortable pressure applied to her pleasure points will not only allow a woman to reach orgasm sooner, but also expand and extend the actual orgasm. “Remember micro-movements can produce macro-results,” says Mars.
#6: She Knows Slippery is Good
“In real estate, the lingo is location, location, location which is also obviously very important in intimacy,” says Mars. “However, almost equally important, and what is stressed in Tantric circles is lubrication, lubrication, lubrication!”
Why? Well, part of being able to experience a multi-oh requires keeping erogenous areas receptive to stimulation throughout the intimate process, which could involve stimulation, re-stimulation and blended stimulation. To avoid desensitization as well as vaginal discomfort and soreness during this process, a woman must be both internally (vaginally) and externally (clitorally) “well lubricated.”
There are many good supplemental lubricants on the market you can try but you can also encourage “natural” lubrication by starting any multi-orgasmic exploration with a pelvic or vaginal massage. “It’s kind of like setting the table before a beautiful meal,” says Mars. “As you continue, be sure to keep up the lubing so you can keep grooving.”
Why? Well, part of being able to experience a multi-oh requires keeping erogenous areas receptive to stimulation throughout the intimate process, which could involve stimulation, re-stimulation and blended stimulation. To avoid desensitization as well as vaginal discomfort and soreness during this process, a woman must be both internally (vaginally) and externally (clitorally) “well lubricated.”
There are many good supplemental lubricants on the market you can try but you can also encourage “natural” lubrication by starting any multi-orgasmic exploration with a pelvic or vaginal massage. “It’s kind of like setting the table before a beautiful meal,” says Mars. “As you continue, be sure to keep up the lubing so you can keep grooving.”
#7: She Knows the Rub
It’s time for a little friction -- the good kind. By learning the Coital Alignment Technique (CAT), you can really up your chances of a multiple orgasm. To access the CAT in the missionary position, have your guy shift forward so that his chest is closer to your shoulders. By making this adjustment, he’ll ride higher on your pelvis, allowing your clitoris to rub against his pubic bone or lower abdominals while he internally rubs your G-Spot, the AFE (Anterior Fornix Erogenous Zone at your upper Cervix) or the PFE (the Posterior Fornix Erogenous zone at the bottom rear of the vaginal canal).
Also, in the Cowgirl (i.e. “Girl on Top”) and missionary positions you can manually stimulate your own clitoris. “Spooning and Doggie Style are also optimal alternatives for multiple orgasms because he can manually stimulate your clitoris while his penis rubs your G-Spot or AFE/PFE,” says Mars. “This ‘double rub’ decreases the time it takes to reach orgasm thanks to the extra stimulation and increases the possibility of multiplying, blending and extending your orgasms.” This might take some mutual coordination, but it is very doable. Rub-a-dub-dub!
Also, in the Cowgirl (i.e. “Girl on Top”) and missionary positions you can manually stimulate your own clitoris. “Spooning and Doggie Style are also optimal alternatives for multiple orgasms because he can manually stimulate your clitoris while his penis rubs your G-Spot or AFE/PFE,” says Mars. “This ‘double rub’ decreases the time it takes to reach orgasm thanks to the extra stimulation and increases the possibility of multiplying, blending and extending your orgasms.” This might take some mutual coordination, but it is very doable. Rub-a-dub-dub!
# 8: She Knows Every Angle
Legs up in the air! Turns out that you can up your orgasmic chances if you lift a little.
“Tilting your hips and pelvis upwards actually shortens your vaginal canal allowing even a less endowed male partner to reach unchartered territory for him which makes both partners feel fulfilled…you physically, him psychologically,” says Mars. “Try using the wedge or a pillow beneath your lower back creating an angle where your hips are above your head and shoulders -- so you’re laying down with your hips tilted up.”
This “hips up” position allows better access to a woman’s AFE and PFE. “A woman must understand that her cervical area can be a hot spot for truly earth shattering orgasms,” says Mars. And a little tilt can take you there!
“Tilting your hips and pelvis upwards actually shortens your vaginal canal allowing even a less endowed male partner to reach unchartered territory for him which makes both partners feel fulfilled…you physically, him psychologically,” says Mars. “Try using the wedge or a pillow beneath your lower back creating an angle where your hips are above your head and shoulders -- so you’re laying down with your hips tilted up.”
This “hips up” position allows better access to a woman’s AFE and PFE. “A woman must understand that her cervical area can be a hot spot for truly earth shattering orgasms,” says Mars. And a little tilt can take you there!
#9: She Knows to Let Go of the Outcome
“If you’re thinking about the performance, you’re not thinking about the pleasure,” says Paget. “The one thing I want to let women know is that this is about enjoyment and not something else they have to accomplish.” No woman should find herself trying for a multiple orgasm and then feeling like a failure if she doesn’t reach outer orbit!
“By thinking of sex as a goal-oriented event, with orgasm as the chief and sole end, you automatically and immediately limit your ability to feel pleasure along the way,” says Paget. Try instead to think of sex as being “pleasure directed” -- with each expression of sex being an end in itself. In other words, kissing, holding, oral sex, intercourse, and orgasm do not need to happen every time and in any particular order. One part doesn’t have to lead to anything else. By letting go of the “end game,” you just may end up going into extra innings!
“By thinking of sex as a goal-oriented event, with orgasm as the chief and sole end, you automatically and immediately limit your ability to feel pleasure along the way,” says Paget. Try instead to think of sex as being “pleasure directed” -- with each expression of sex being an end in itself. In other words, kissing, holding, oral sex, intercourse, and orgasm do not need to happen every time and in any particular order. One part doesn’t have to lead to anything else. By letting go of the “end game,” you just may end up going into extra innings!
HAVE A NICE LOVE.
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