PREVENT SEXUAL ASSAULT AND SEXUAL ABUSE

Safety tips to help prevent sexual assault

Defining sexual assault

A sexual assault is any unwanted touching of a sexual nature and includes rape. Rape is unwanted sexual intercourse and an act of violence that takes away your power. No one has the right to touch you without your permission. If you are sexually assaulted or raped, you are not to be blamed. Even if the person who assaulted you did not use a weapon, they are still guilty of assault or rape. Sexual assault or rape occurs even if you had agreed to be intimate with someone at first, but then changed your mind. Even your boyfriend or husband can be guilty of rape or assault. 

Sexual assault and rape can happen not only when you are in public, but also in other social settings such as at parties. Rape frequently occurs in a woman’s home. Although some women are raped by strangers, most women know the person who raped them. According to research, “acquaintance sexual assaults are by far the most common type of rape both on and off the campus” (Bohmer & Parrot; 1993)*.

Precautions

Sexual assault is harder to prevent than other types of crimes because it is part of a serious social problem that occurs when a person thinks they have a right to access your body. Protection Services wants to remind you about a number of precautions that women have developed to avoid sexual assault in public and social situations.  

Trusting people 

• When you go out or travel (walking or driving somewhere), do so with people that you trust to look out for your safety. Be a good friend—keep an eye on your friends to make sure they are safe. There is more safety in numbers.
• When you are at a gathering, make sure that someone knows where you are at all times. Check on your friends to make sure they are safe too.
• Be aware that, while it in no way justifies sexual assault or rape, going off by yourself can make it easier for someone to isolate and assault you.
• If you do not feel well and need to lie down, make sure that a friend stays with you to check on you.
• It may not be safe to be intimate with someone if you or they have been drinking or using other substances.
• If you want to be intimate with someone, remember that you can still change your mind.

Traveling home 

• Avoid travelling home alone from bars or parties.
• Organize safe and reliable transportation back home, and always carry enough cash for a taxi or bus ride:
• Call a taxi from your location, tell the dispatcher where you are going, and make sure someone (a friend or family member) knows where and when to expect you. You can check in with this person when you get home.
• Additionally, OC Transpo offers a “Taxi Link” service after midnight for those who travel by bus but need a taxi to get the rest of the way home. People can call a taxi and have the taxi meet them at a designated pickup location at certain bus stops.
• Keep your cellular phone handy to call for help.
• Call out for help if you suspect you are in danger.
• If you must return home alone, be sure to walk on busy, well-lit streets; steer clear of shortcuts, isolated side streets, and dark pathways full of nooks and crannies. Other points:
• Be aware of your surroundings.
• Be aware of people that seem to be following you.
• Don’t hesitate to ask someone for help, whether a person on the street, a neighbour, or someone inside a store or restaurant.
• Don’t be afraid to make a lot of noise or to make a scene.

Drinking and impairment

Drinking weakens your judgment and your means of self-defense. If you drink, do so in moderation.

Some rapists use drugs to incapacitate their victims. These drugs can be colorless, odorless, and tasteless and can be slipped into your drink. Sometimes called “date rape drugs,” these drugs can also seriously harm your health or even kill you. Keep these precautions in mind:

• Never leave your drink unattended. But remember, even if you ask a trusted friend to watch your drink, someone could slip a drug into your drink while your friend is distracted.
• If you cannot take your drink to the washroom with you, either finish your drink before you go to the washroom or abandon it.
• If you are at the bar, watch the bartender pour your drink from the tap or make the drink.

You may not remember what happened to you if someone puts drugs into your drink and assaults you. If you wake up in a place but don’t know how you got there, you should tell someone what has happened.

Do your part! Men can help prevent sexual assault and rape! Here’s how:

• Be a good friend—keep an eye on your friends to make sure they are safe.

• If you see someone approaching a woman in a way that seems to make the woman uncomfortable, do something. Be alert, ask if she needs help, and get help.

• Sexual assault and rape happen to men as well—you should not feel ashamed if you are sexually assaulted. You can seek counselling just like anyone else who has been sexually assaulted or raped.

• State your desires clearly and ask permission. If you want to be intimate with a woman, make sure that she consents. If she does not want to be intimate, stop right away.

• Get consent every time you want to engage in sexual contact. Just because a woman says yes the first time does not mean she is giving you permission to have sexual contact with her in the future.

• If a woman is unconscious or if her judgment is impaired, she cannot consent to have sex. If you have sex with her in this state, you are committing a sexual assault.

• Being drunk is not an excuse for having sexual contact with someone against their will.

• Don’t use words that put women down or insult them. When you put women down, it is easier to treat them without respect. Speak up if you see someone insulting women.

* Bohmer, C & Andrea Parrot (1993), Sexual Assault on Campus, Lexington Books, New York

Parent Tips for Preventing and Identifying Child Sexual Abuse

 

 

The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) offers these tips for parents. Please feel free to use them in any print or broadcast story with appropriate attribution of source.

Sexual abuse is a difficult subject for most people to discuss, and especially difficult for parents to discuss with their children. But as frightening as the topic may be, sexual abuse is a serious and, unfortunately, common problem that affects both boys and girls. In most cases, the person who sexually abuses a child is an adult or older child known to the victim, often an authority figure that the child knows, trusts or loves. The offender usually uses coercion and manipulation, not physical force, to engage the child.

What parents should know about child sexual abuse:

• Most offenders are known to the child; they may be family members, relatives, friends, teachers, coaches, babysitters, and others in positions of authority.

• Children most susceptible to sexual abuse have obedient, compliant and respectful personalities. They may be children from unhappy or broken homes, as these youngsters may be eager for attention and affection.

• Children who are victims of sexual abuse can display many or few behavioral symptoms. They may withdraw from family or friends, display poor school performance, experience depression, anxiety, or exhibit aggressive and self-destructive behavior. Or they may not display any outward abnormal behavior.

• Child sexual abuse often involves more than a single incident, and can go on for months or years.

• Sexual abuse includes any kind of sexual act or behavior with a child, and includes activities involving genital contact as well as non-contact events- such as showing pornographic images to children, taking pornographic photographs of a child, etc.

Tips that can minimize your child’s risk of molestation:

• In early childhood, parents can teach their children the name of the genitals, just as they teach their child names of other body parts. This teaches that the genitals, while private, are not so private that you can’t talk about them.

• Parents can teach young children about the privacy of body parts, and that no one has the right to touch their bodies if they don’t want that to happen. Children should also learn to respect the right to privacy of other people.

• Teach children early and often that there are no secrets between children and their parents, and that they should feel comfortable talking with their parent about anything -- good or bad, fun or sad, easy or difficult.

• Be aware of adults who offer children special gifts or toys, or adults who want to take your child on a “special outing” or to special events.

• Enroll your child in daycare and other programs that have a parent “open door” policy.  Monitor and participate in activities whenever possible.

• As children age, create an environment at home in which sexual topics can be discussed comfortably. Use news items and publicized reports of child sexual abuse to start discussions of safety, and reiterate that children should always tell a parent about anyone who is taking advantage of them sexually.

• If your child discloses any history of sexual abuse, listen carefully, and take his or her disclosure seriously. Too often, children are not believed, particularly if they implicate a family member as the perpetrator. Contact your pediatrician, the local child protection service agency, or the police. If you don’t intervene, the abuse might continue, and the child may come to believe that home is not safe and that you are not available to help.

• Support your child and let him or her know that he or she is not responsible for the abuse.

• Bring your child to a physician for a medical examination, to ensure that the child’s physical health has not been affected by the abuse.

• Most children and their families will also need professional counseling to help them through this ordeal, and your pediatrician can refer you to community resources for psychological help.

• If you have concerns that your child may be a victim of sexual abuse, you should talk with your pediatrician. Your physician can discuss your concerns, examine your child, and make necessary referrals and reports.